Recently, Damon Jones has complained about his lack of playing time and demanded to be traded. It’s time to keep him in check, with this edition of STFU!
DJ,
1. Spurning the Team is a Foolish Undertaking.
On Christmas Day against the Miami Heat, you refused to come into the game during garbage time. I understand that you’d been riding pine for forty-seven minutes, but you’re not going to get more playing time by being petulant. You’re going to get fined.
2. Singing Trade-carols: Funny, but Unwise.
I admit, it cracked me up when I read that you were singing Christmas carols before the December 23rd game against the Warriors, changing the words to highlight your trade demands. But this merrymaking can’t endear you to Mike Brown, the rest of the team, the media, or the fans. As hilarious as it is.
3. Starting Time is For Useful players.
The last time I checked, you’re a 31 year-old journeyman with one fading dimension. You’ve hovered around thirty-eight percent from three-point range with the Cavs, and haven’t exactly shown any other reason to be out on the court, especially with Mike Brown’s defensive mindset.
Look at it this way: you’re making $4 mil per year to hang out with and watch arguably the best basketball player in the world.
So buy yourself another flashy suit and Shut The Fuck Up!
good feature1
noah hates you, btw