There are many, many reasons to hate the Steelers (particularly when your team has lost to them 11 straight times). Here are a few:
A. The Rooneys.
Jesus Christ, can the sportswriters of America ease up off Dan Rooney’s shaft? He’s insanely rich owner of a football team. The last time I checked, he didn’t cure polio.
And like all NFL owners, he’s a stingy, old prick. Like when he took $158 million in public funds to build Heinz Field, despite the fact that the Steelers are worth upwards of $1 billion.
B. The “Terrible” Towel.
Listen up, Yinzers. It’s a fucking towel, painted yellow. It’s also one of the dumbest, most shameless gimmicks in sports history.
If you asked me to rank a list of things based on how much terror they inspire in me, a towel would fall somewhere between “granola” and “rainbows.”
And then there’s shit like this:
ZOMG! Who knows what could be in the Terrible Tote?!? The latest Dan Brown novel?!?!? A box of Ritz Crackers?!?!?!?
QUICK, TAKE IT AWAY!! IT’S TOO TERRIBLE!!!
C. Big Dumb Ben Roethlisberger.
Pittsburgh, your quarterback’s calling, and he’s retarded.
This is a guy who crashed his motorcycle in a traffic-filled tunnel going warp speed with no helmet, and walked away without a scratch. And then, after cheating death, he decides to take up pro wrestling.
Ben Roethlisberger defies evolution.
Oh, and apparently he sells beef jerky and BBQ sauce.
Q: What functioning human being would purchase and eat a product featuring this mongloid’s stupid grin on its label?
A: The same person who owns a Terrible Tote.
I bet this BBQ sauce has peanut butter, eggs, and dice in it.
D. Hines “Cheap Shot” Ward.
When you play so dirtily that the NFL names a penalty after you, you must be a total douchebag.
By the way, it’s this smiley-faced idiot’s same historically dirty play that’s mistaken by sportswriters as Pittsburghish grittiness. What a load of bullshit.
E. Dude, You’re A Kicker.
F. The Fans.
At least half of the average Steelers’ fan’s wardrobe consists of Steelers merchandise.
If you work with one of these assholes, get ready to see that putrid black-and-yellow tie around the water cooler, and not just on Fridays and Mondays.
If you invite a Steelers fan to a wedding, there’s a 75% chance that they’re showing up in a Roethlisberger jersey. For funerals, I’d lower the odds to 67%.
There’s a thin line between fandom and insanity. This is the line:
Yes, that’s a wake.
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You took all the things that make the team great and wished you had…and tried to twist them…unsuccessfully:
A) Conssitent and stable ownership…wish you had it.
B) Why is it a gimmick? Money goes to charity. Something to identify and unify fans…wish you had it.
C) You have stupid local products, too. Whatever. I know, I live here.
D) The guy kicks butt. Ruthless at worst. Legal. Plays with fire. Wish you had a player like that.
E) I’ll give you that one. BUT, he’s a great kicker.
F) The fans help make the team even better. Yep, I own tons of Steelers stuff. But, yes, that pic is horrible.
Let me reword your blog entry.
“I hate the Steelers because they kick our @$$.”
I didn’t know Jesus Christ was a Steelers fan? Makes sense.
Notice he didn’t defend Big Dumb Ben though. And he called Ward legal, which is what a douche bag would say. Oh and the Terrible Towel money goes to charity, God bless everyone.
And on another note, calling Ben “retarded” would do nothing but let him off the hook. You see, Ben is what is referred to as “a 71″. Considering an IQ of 70 is the benchmark for retardation, Ben is not retarded, just really, really, really stupid.
I know writing this post was probably therapeutic for you, KardiacKid. But, honestly, we all know there are only 3 reasons why you (or any browns fan) REALLY hate the steelers:
(1) Super Bowl XL and XLIII (vs. 0 browns playoff wins this decade)
(2) 6 total Steelers Super Bowls
(3) 12 losses in a row (that’s SIX seasons straight, officially ending any notion of a browns ‘rivalry’)
oh, and how can browns fans mock anyone for being overweight or too “zealous”? Cleveland is the home of the DOG POUND: where people eat Dog Food, and dress like a fat puppy or a pregnant wolf-bunny:
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_fJWJHCC47no/So0FsxbwPuI/AAAAAAAAAdU/swqeG4LSTuE/s400/the-dawg-pound.jpg
Hello from Russia!
Can I quote a post in your blog with the link to you?
This is a stupid post and I only wish I had the time to dig up enough crap to make a specific football team look bad. I would also love to pick the Browns, or any other team apart but I just have better things to do. Being a good fan doesn’t require trash talking about other teams on a personal level (refering to Ben as less than intelligent, do you know how hard it is to be a quarter back? It is about strategy and you have to be intelligent as well as strong).
As for your Ward comments, we all make mistakes and football players are no exception, but it’s football, not golf. Physical contact is a necessity when your playing a sport that is interactive and “physical”. I can’t even believe that you really think you have made the Steelers look bad by posting this. I think I am stupider now because I have read it.
And another thing, as outrageous as it may look to have a blanket with the Steelers logo on it as a wake it is hardly something to make fun of. Maybe the guy just really liked the Steelers when he was alive and his family thought he would appreciate it. Maybe he wanted it that way, who knows. I hardly think it makes the Steelers look like a worse football team because they have a loyal fan following.
Just my opinion on the matter, but you do you and keep on posting things like this, believe it isn’t the Steelers who look bad because of it.
The #1 worst thing about Steelers fans is it seems there’s so many in Cleveland, how many can be left in PA? Just look at how many Steeler fans comment on this blog.
At Damon’s on GameDay, there’s a whole room of Steeler fans screaming and cheering and like two tables of silent Browns fans.
Go back to your f-ing city, lol, if you guys hate ours so much. Let us suffer in peace. We’re sick of seeing our hated rivals’ crap in our home.