Predictamaphone
Week 17: The Polish Rifle vs. Big Dumb Ben
Browns fans might want to follow the lead of these two and drink their troubles away tomorrow. Preferably before 1 p.m. Big Dumb Ben Roethlisberger is looking to finish the regular season with a 6-0 record against the AFC North. The Polish Rifle is looking to finish Sunday with all of his limbs intact. The [...]
Week 16: Misery Bowl 2008
Are you ready for some football?! An afternoon shit-fest! We’ve got Bray and RAC and Chad, it’s gonna be a hot mess, There’s not that much at stake ’cause our seasons are done, But fans of watching trainwrecks are gonna have some fun! (No apologies to that worthless turd Hank Williams Jr.) Here’s the deal. The Cleveland [...]
Week 17: I Loves You, Sorgi
Jokes and Gershwin references aside, the fate of the Cleveland Browns’ post-season hopes rests on the arm of the guy on the right. He’s Indianapolis Colts back-up quarterback Jim Sorgi. Even though Marvin Harrison is likely to play against the Titans, Peyton Manning (a.k.a. Johnny Commercialpants) probably won’t see much field time. Because Tony Dungy is a wuss. I [...]
Week 16: Special Guest Analyst, “Nick”
Ho ho ho! Matt was too nervous to write today’s post, so he asked me to do it. After all, I only have to deliver toys and presents to children all over the world in two days, why would I be busy? As you all know, I’m a die-hard Browns fan. Today, my Brownies play [...]
Believeland
Sorry, gang. Predictamaphone was a bit off today. There was a problem with the end-line specs . . . on the rotary girder . . . I’m retarded. It wasn’t pretty, but in December a win’s a win, and the Browns are one step closer to making the playoffs. The D was solid, Jamal Lewis racked [...]
Week 15: The Snow Bowl
[Editor's note: I meant to write about last night's Cavs-76ers game, but I hurt my back picking up my television and throwing it out the window . . . ] I thought today’s Browns-Bills showdown would be the make-or-break game for the Moose From Scappoose, but considering the weather conditions, I think this one might rest [...]
Week 14: Everyday Is Like Sunday
This afternoon, the NFL showcases an exciting match-up with huge playoff implications. It’s a game many of us have been waiting weeks for. I’m talking, of course, about the Cleveland Browns (7-5) at the New York Jets (3-9). Because the man loves to keep me down, I’ll have to snore my way through the New [...]
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