RAC
INT. ERIC MANGINI’S OFFICE — DAY
Mangini paces his office/bedroom. Mangini: These morons lived through four years of Butch Davis, then another FOUR FUCKING YEARS of Romeo Crennel, and now they want to fire me after only three games? We’re not even to the bye week and I’M THE WORST NFL HEAD COACH HIRE IN 25 YEARS? ARE YOU SHITTING ME, JOE PO-WHATEVERYOURNAMEIS? I’M A MANGENIUS! Mangini collapses in a [...]
Mangnenius?
Meet your new Cleveland Browns head coach. Al “Moneybags” Lerner made a not-so bold and daring move Wednesday, selecting a former New England Patriots Defensive Coordinator to helm the Browns. Over three seasons with the J-E-T-S, Mangenius was 23-25. The new Browns coach has been reportedly scheming to bring some of his old assistants along [...]
Cleveland Browns Coaching Sweepstakes!
You know the story: Randy “Moneybags” Lerner decided in his infinite wisdom to give Romeo Crennel and Phil Savage each $9-10 million to not have to live in Cleveland anymore. For his next brilliant move, Moneybags will hire a new general manager and head coach. As you might expect, candidates are lining up to coach [...]
EXCLUSIVE VIDEO: Brady Quinn vs. Shaun Smith!
The rumors are swirling in Cleveland, and apparently they’re true. Defensive tackle Shaun Smith had a problem with EAS Myoplex drinker/Subway spokesman/possible homophobe Brady Quinn’s face, and he decided to solve it with his fists. The alleged scuffle has been confirmed by a Browns player, but now we have definitive proof. Here is the locker room cell [...]
Week 16: Misery Bowl 2008
Are you ready for some football?! An afternoon shit-fest! We’ve got Bray and RAC and Chad, it’s gonna be a hot mess, There’s not that much at stake ’cause our seasons are done, But fans of watching trainwrecks are gonna have some fun! (No apologies to that worthless turd Hank Williams Jr.) Here’s the deal. The Cleveland [...]
Week 16: Special Guest Analyst, “Nick”
Ho ho ho! Matt was too nervous to write today’s post, so he asked me to do it. After all, I only have to deliver toys and presents to children all over the world in two days, why would I be busy? As you all know, I’m a die-hard Browns fan. Today, my Brownies play [...]
Believeland
Sorry, gang. Predictamaphone was a bit off today. There was a problem with the end-line specs . . . on the rotary girder . . . I’m retarded. It wasn’t pretty, but in December a win’s a win, and the Browns are one step closer to making the playoffs. The D was solid, Jamal Lewis racked [...]
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